Cosleepin’, Breastfeedin’, Cloth Diaperin’ Mama? Part one : Breastfeeding.

Yes, that’s me! I don’t like to give myself titles, but that sounds like a very fun title for this post. And the funniest thing is, some people plan ahead how they expect to parent and do certain things. That is not how it happened for me. I had different thoughts in my head, but all in all I just asked questions, listened to some advice and pretty much followed my instincts.

Let’s start with the most basic and obvious thing here. Breastfeeding. Yes, this I knew I wanted to do and in all honesty this shouldn’t even be discussed. I feel very strongly about this topic and probably can go on and on about this. But let’s try to keep it short and sweet.

Breastfeeding- It’s what you are supposed to do!!! I apologize in advance if I offend anyone with my opinions here. After all this is my blog and I think I can freely voice my opinions on here. If you don’t like them no one is asking you to continue reading- just sayin’! Anyway… yes- it is what you are supposed to do! I DO NOT understand those moms who just decide to put their kids on formula because it is easier for them or because they don’t like it or whatever other reason. Really? You don’t like it? I don’t think anyone particular LIKES to be in labor, but it is what you are supposed to do to have a baby right? And in all honesty, I think the minute you become a parent, your own personal likes and dislikes should not be number one if they don’t coincide with your babies needs.

I understand those moms whose supply drops or for whatever reason they aren’t able to breastfeed. I understand that. I especially have sympathy for those who try everything they can to keep their supply up and to breastfeed their babies as long as possible. Yes! This is what mamas are supposed to do!

When I was pregnant people would ask me if I would breastfeed or not. Seriously that questioned always baffled me. That society has come to the point where moms actually have a preference nowadays. And even when I would answer of course… some people would say “ well, you never know, your baby might not latch on.” I think my breastfeeding journey started out very easy. Compared to some incidences I have heard. Kassiyan was able to latch on immediately, he is eating very well and happy and so far my supply is flowing (literally)! But if for whatever reason let’s say Kassiyan wouldn’t have latched on, I would have pumped and gave him bm. And tried again with the breast. And again and again if needed. I would have done everything I could have to give him the milk that he needs as a baby as opposed to jumping to formula right away. Bottom line is- breastfeeding is the way to go and for moms who think otherwise, I just simply do not understand you.

Breastfeeding in public. I think this is personally not that big of a deal, who does what… it depends on personal comfort levels. I think in the very beginning I was very shy of feeding in front of people or in public. Instead of putting myself in an uncomfortable position to go into the car or find a place to feed I sometimes (this is in the way beginning, I don’t even remember the last time I pumped) pumped milk to bring with me. In all honesty, it is truly just beyond simple to go with the flow with everything. He’s hungry- you pull out a boob, no bottle nothing. If I’m at a zoo, I’m at a zoo! If I’m at the park, well then I’m at the park! I think the only place that I don’t really have this “I don’t care” attitude is in church. And honestly it’s because it is a monastery and there are monks there. We have a dress code as is to wear a head covering and a dress/skirt below the knees. As pro breastfeeding as I am , this is more about respecting my religion as well as the monks. So in that case I would go to the car to feed, or the downstairs church in a little corner where no one is around.  I’ve come to learn to wear a tank top underneath and then can wear another t-shirt on top or whatever and be able to feed without showing much.  Fast and convenient. I think if I don’t stress then no one else stresses. And so far I have not come across any rude or obnoxious people that have said anything otherwise to me feeding. Then again, I don’t go out much, I stay home all the time :)

That pretty much sums up my little breastfeeding rant! I am all for it and honestly don’t see it any other way!

I also don’t see a time frame on feeding. I will feed until I have milk. If this means 2 years then it is 2 years, if this means more that means more. Although I think by then we may have another baby on the way so things may work out on their own ;) But if I have to “tandem feed” a term I actually only heard of yesterday- then so be it! This is the good stuff and might as well use while you have it!

4 Month Update

Wow this girl still remembers how to blog? Believe me, I’m shocked myself. I believe my last post was at 6 weeks post partum? And today my little man is 4 months old. WOW. Talk about being a procrastinator. I guess things are different now… pretty much how I expected them to be when I was pregnant.

When I was pregnant it was just pretty much me and my big growing belly. Every day would drag. I would look at the calendar, count the days, hours and minutes even… til he would be here. There wouldn’t be much to do other than wait and be on the clock with my blog posts. Now, Kassiyanchik is here and my whole world is a lot more interesting!

In my head I have pretty much posted 10 different blog posts about different thoughts, feelings and topics. But of course, that doesn’t count does it?

I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s just sum up where we are today. I am officially now not working and my days are spent solely concentrating on my son. Co-sleeping, breastfeeding and cloth diapering my little baby. Both of us can’t possibly be happier :)

I was originally working at 3 weeks pp, yeah that soon, ha. But I was able to do it from home. I was doing bookkeeping stuff for the store that I worked at. It was nice, since I only made trips to the store 1-3 times a week to pick up and drop off more paperwork. Sometimes my boss would even make the trip himself. Sounds like the perfect solution to work from home, huh?

I thought I could handle it. Some might consider me a wuss, but it was just not worth it. The summer was very busy and doing paperwork for 5-6 stores I was just not keeping up. Every free moment I had… instead of taking a nap or cooking dinner or just cuddling with my boy I would rush to get some paperwork done. And I would not get everything done. Slowly things would just add on and add on and YIKES!

So pretty much I was stressing about getting everything done as soon as possible, stressing & stressing and all for what? For about $30-$50 a week. In all honesty, I rather give up that extra $30 a week for a nap and to feel somewhat human after a long night. Now that the pressure is off I am sincerely happy and feel somewhat set free!

Kassiyan is so big now. Watching him grow and change every day is so interesting! He just doesn’t cease to amaze me with new things everyday. He is 4 months old today, fitting into 6-9 months clothing, and has been very vocal lately. It is SO adorable.

We actually started up a “family” youtube channel recently. My previous ones were absolute fails, but now we are trying once again. Not much on there but slowly I have been posting my own videos of our son and my husband just posts some random videos on his own there. So check it out if you’d like. I will post a link to one of Kassiyan’s videos below.

There is so much more I want to say but I think making separate posts for them would be much appropriate. In that case I will sum up this post by posting of course an adorable picture of our little munchkin! <3

VIDEO OF KASSIYAN

My Birth Story: Welcome to the World Kassiyan Poznyak!

Well, it has been a while! I have not forgotten about my blog. My hands have just been *literally* full lately. As you can guess since I haven’t had any more pregnancy updates I obviously had our little bundle of joy, Kassiyanchik. Boy, I have lots to say but the first post I want to make is my labor story. 5 Weeks pp and counting and I still haven’t gotten a chance to sit down and share it on here. I actually started writing it I think 2 weeks pp, but then my laptop screen broke so now I can’t even continue off of that and have to start all over again! Oh boy!

Anyway, to try to get this done in one sitting, let’s cut to the chase. It was a very difficult labor. And I am not just saying that because this is my first baby and all that but it was not your typical labor experience that is for sure.

It all started on June 16- it was a Sunday. I started having really bad pressure/bone pain. Which I remember at that point I had those pains constantly but if I were to lay down or take a bath I would be able to find some comforting position. Not this time. I couldn’t walk, sit or lay. I remember hubby and I actually set up our big computer monitor in our bedroom that day to watch the Hangover 2, and I just could not find a comfortable place in bed.

On top of that my whole body started aching, and I started to feel like I was getting a fever. I took a bath, got out of the bath and that didn’t help with anything. After that I could feel I actually was burning up, and had a fever of 102.3 I believe. I took Tylenol and laid in bed thinking about what on earth could be happening. I don’t have a cold and was thinking of whether or not to call the hospital or not. It was Sunday night and I remember being the most concerned about making hubby go with me. If it wasn’t a big deal he would spend all night in the hospital with me and then have to wake up at 6 to go to work. After thinking it over I called the hospital.

At that point, the fever dropped immediately after the Tylenol and I even felt silly calling. But the hospital told me since I have a fever and being 39 weeks already that I should come in anyway just in case. We packed everything with us this time. Because when we went to the hospital back at 18 weeks for the kidney infection we thought we would come back that same night and didn’t bring anything with us and stayed there for about 4 days I believe. So this time we took everything- just in case I would stay or even have to stay to have the baby we took everything. But both of us for some reason had this feeling that the fact that we were actually prepared that nothing would happen this time.

Anyway, getting to the hospital we were under Dr. Graham’s care, the doctor that I really liked last time we were there during my kidney infection. His first guess to what was going on was that I was having another kidney infection again. He said I was prone to another one more likely since I already had one. So they took my blood and urine. Urine came back clear, but my blood showed a high white blood cell count basically showing that there is some sort of infection in my body. He said it would be very difficult to figure out what is exactly going on, it could be a variety of things, but he said it was definitely pregnancy related and that the cure at this point was to get baby out. They didn’t even really offer the option of an induction but more so said IT HAS to be done at this point.

I was happy that finally I was going to have our baby but was very nervous about ending up in a C-section. That was the one thing I wanted to avoid. And I told him my concern, and knowing I was only 1cm dilated and a lot of women who aren’t ready most likely won’t progress and therefore will have a C-section. He told me that is not the case and said that he does not expect me to have a c section and he himself wants to avoid one, but I should not think that it will not happen because you never know what to expect. I mean at this point what was I going to do? I had some sort of infection going on and baby had to come out!

I did ask him about Cervadil though. A friend of mine mentioned it to me a few weeks prior, that sometimes it is more effective to start Cervadil before Pitocin because it can help open up and soften the cervix a little more. Dr. Graham agreed with me and instead of starting me on Pitocin right away we tried the Cervadil first. It was just inserted and kept in there for 12 hours. So it they started me on it at midnight Sunday onto Monday. That started contractions for me, and closer to the 12 hours my water broke. But when they checked me at noon on Monday I was still only 1cm dilated. So they started the Pitocin. Contractions slowly started to get more frequent and a little stronger. I don’t exactly remember when they got pretty bad, but when they did that is when I started screaming. It was BAD!  So for 8 hours of screaming (from 12 -8pm) they checked me and I was only 2cm dilated. At that point I remember I was SO sure I was so close to pushing and that I did such a good job without needing or asking for an epidural! But when they told me I was only 2cm I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it through another 8 cm. So I caved in.

The midwife came in who was on duty ( Michele Rhude) and asked “ Oh, you’re feeling crampy?” I remember thinking to myself this is much more than crampy! I wouldn’t be screaming if I was just feeling crampy for goodness sake! Anyway, she recommended giving me some sort of other pain relief meds that would be given via IV to me and see if that works first. At that point I didn’t care; I wanted something to help because I was just beyond exhausted from the pain and from screaming.

Well, whatever they gave me, I literally passed out 2 mins later! I remember vaguely starting to fade away and told Zhenya “I am about to be knocked out- don’t ask me any serious questions, I can’t answer them.” LOL I passed out for 1.5 hours at 9:30 pm, woke up feeling very drowsy still but feeling those intense contractions again- screaming. So they started prepping me for an epidural. This was something, since they had to give me the whole talk about all the side effects and with me screaming every 5 minutes they had to do it with pauses. Also sticking the needle in me I had to be perfectly still and it was impossible to do when I was having painful contractions.

This is also when Hubby almost passed out. I was sitting on the edge of the bed my arms around my husband’s neck and me basically screaming in his face and grabbing him very tightly with each contraction. At this point they are in detail describing how I have to poke out my spine so they can insert the needle in between specific bones. Hubby is hearing all this, also seeing the huge needle (he is very queasy around needles, and I am kind of glad I didn’t see it lol) and I am screaming in his face he is just hot and starts feeling very lightheaded. Right after the IV pain med they gave me I was in a dream almost and remember things in pieces. They called another nurse up for back up and put him on a chair and gave him juice, LOL.

Anyway, the epidural was in, and I don’t really remember it hurting as much (going in that is.) I think it was because I had other pain that was bothering me and also I was just so out of it at that point. After the epidural kicked in I passed out for the night. I wake up at 5am because my one side was no longer numb, they told me it works with gravity sometimes to turn over to the other side and it could help- but I couldn’t really move with being numb so I needed help with that, lol. Anyway, they checked me and I was 7cm dilated! For 24 hours I only opened 1cm and all of a sudden after a few hours so much progression. Some people say if you are tense and stressed you won’t get anywhere, but if you are calm the more likely it is that you will progress. I think when my body finally got a break and I actually slept that is when the most progression happened.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the whole time I was at the hospital I didn’t have my fever return even once (until I started pushing.) I was also on antibiotics the whole time I was there. 1- for my infection, and 2- Group B strep. So at about 8:30am on Tuesday they checked me and I was fully open and ready to push. At this point my left side was no longer numb and I could feel pain and contractions, but it was tolerable. Pushing felt silly because it was like I was pushing to poop but nothing was coming out.

After a little bit, the pain and contractions started to get more painful that I started screaming again. This was the peak of pain I was in. I was in so much pain that I was hysterical- I couldn’t even push with the contractions anymore because it was so painful. I was crying, ripping my hairs out, scratching myself, I didn’t know what to do with myself. And everyone was just in my face. I had my husband holding my left leg, a nurse holding my right leg, a midwife and a doctor and another nurse all staring and yelling at me. “This is YOUR baby!” “You need to PUSH” “Listen to me!” “Stop screaming!” “Calm down!” “Look at me!” Just repeating the same stuff over and over again. And the fact was I completely understood that I had to come down, I know it is my baby- my goodness! I know I have to push- but I didn’t have the words or energy to explain to them in how much pain I was in and all I could come out with saying was “ I can’t” and “It hurts!” I was begging for some relief, because I legit couldn’t even push. The midwife kept saying how she doesn’t recommend me to get anything so I can feel the contractions I told her I will push I will do whatever I need to I just need some sort of relief, so they finally agreed and called some nurse to get me something.

At this point, everything started to go wrong. My fever was back again, I was at 103. Baby’s heart rate started dropping, I literally could not fight through myself to push, and baby’s head was right there already. They started prepping a room up for a C-section already. I remember feeling so sad and hopeless at that point, and I remember my husband trying to tell them NO C section. By some miracle- truly a miracle… the nurse came and gave me something in my IV again. And the pain wasn’t as bad, it was still very painful but I was able to push! So I started pushing again with all my might. Baby’s head would come out and then get sucked back in, so they took out the Vacuum. I remember my husband seeing the head and being so excited and trying to encourage me to continue pushing (which I was surprised because he usually gets queasy at these things.) They ended up using a vacuum and giving me an episiotomy but by some miracle our little baby boy came out! 8 lbs 11 ounces, 20 inches of pure joy! Our little Kassiyanchik! 34.5 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing, born at 10:29 am on June 18!

They ended up then telling me that I had an infection of the amniotic fluid- Corio. Therefore both baby and I will need antibiotics after labor. Poor baby had an IV as well :(

Regardless, we were able to avoid the c section, thank God. I was put on a cathadar and apparently I was so swollen down there one nurse could not find my urethra. She poked around in there- and that was so painful that I was screaming again :/ She had to call another nurse and 2 nurses were poking around to find my urethra as I was screaming from pain. Oh boy.

Anyway, that is all over, but that was my wonderful birth story… main point is our little miracle is finally here and we couldn’t be any happier.

Belly Shot: 38 Weeks!

Oh boy! 38 weeks... 2 weeks til the due date... or sooner or later.... but nearing the end! Can't wait for this baby to get here already. Aside from just being done pregnant I just want my little boy with us already to snuggle and love and what not.

Anywho.... here is the belly shot...

37 Week Update: Shingles Getting Better, GBS Positive, Snapping Noise, Stimulating Labor, and General Life Update.

Ok, so not exactly on time as I expected to be… but still a 37 week post is being made and it is not super late that I am combing it with other weeks. IMPROVEMENT!  Sad part is I wrote most of the post on Thursday and was hoping this would be posted on Thursday. Then it got late and I got tired and never got to it. And here I am being a week late again. Grr.

Anyway, let’s see… ( what really sucks about being late that around midweek I already forget what the heck happened last week… I feel like an old lady or something.)

I weighed myself in the beginning of the week and I was 175. But I have to say my weight has been jumping from day to day. Seriously, I weighed myself 5 days ago I was 175, Wednesday I was 177.6, Thursday morning I was 176, and later in the day I was 178.8. I have no idea… I guess it depends on what and how much I have eaten and drank before stepping on the scale… whether or not I pooped recently probably also plays a role. SORRY TMI AGAIN :)

Ok, so last week… wow… I really don’t remember anything. Okay, well we moved on Memorial Day, so our days have been basically filled with us unpacking things and trying to get our apartment looking like a home. I think one of my hubby’s biggest pet peeves is having boxes laying around, he is really anal about that. He needs to get everything done. And I think only thanks to him we probably have only one more box to go through for the bathroom, one for the kitchen and a bag of clothes to go through ( which mainly will be going to salvation army I am thinking.) So we are doing very well! I remember when I moved into my very first apartment from my small college dorm room, not having that much stuff- boxes were unpacked for months. There’s the difference between me and hubby I guess. But overall I am very happy with our apartment. It’s half a house with washer and dryer in the apartment- which is AMAZING. And we have no neighbors for now which I am loving as well. :)

It was also Zhenya’s birthday last week. 30 years old! It has really been getting to him that he is that old now… he feels like he is a grandpa now :) On the bright side, he definitely does not look 30, and even when I was under 21 and he would order drinks for me in restaurants people would always be shocked by his age. So, I am lucky to have such a hot young Russian looking husband ;)

We went to Applebee’s for his birthday, with our friend Arseniy. Then, when we got home… his gift from his father came in the mail, a new computer monitor… and as he opens it up and attempts to plug it in to try it out- BOOM the power goes out! We had a thunderstorm hit us, bringing down a big tree a few blocks down from us. Basically, we spent the rest of the day walking around our neighborhood, and then huddled over candles. Very romantic evening and of course the power didn’t come back on until 11 pm.

Anyway, kind of off topic, but reliving bits and pieces of last week is actually making me remember what I DID want to talk about in this post as far as pregnancy.

My shingles are better I am happy to say. I haven’t been taking the Percocets for several days already, which I am really glad about. And the days before I would take them ONLY before bed and when I would wake up in the morning, that’s it. Because the pain was still there and like clockwork I would wake up at 4 or 5 am with horrible pain- the pain meds being completely worn off. But luckily during the day I was able to handle it with just Tylenol. Rash is almost gone, it itches a little in that one spot it initially began, but other than that it’s better and pain is  very distant thing now, definitely not how it was, I am SO GLAD. I mean it tortured me for 3 weeks… but I am so glad it is getting better now. Someone recommended me to take B complex vitamins to help the nerves heal faster. I have been doing that so maybe that helped speed things up.

Also now that I am nearing the last weeks of pregnancy I started trying to prepare my body for labor… trying to stimulate labor basically in all natural ways and forms.

Well, since I have been doing this for a week already I guess I can really agree that all these natural methods won’t do crap unless your body is ready. So for all those people frowning upon me starting this at 37 weeks- I am not trying to bring preterm labor (and at this point being full term it won’t be preterm labor.)

But anyway… this is what I have been up to. I have been doing a lot of research on this, as well as discussed this many people who know their stuff as well. I started taking evening primrose oil at 35 weeks I believe, I don’t remember if I mentioned that or not. This is taken orally as well as inserted vaginally. They are small capsules that kinda look like fish oil capsules. Anyway, this is said to help soften and dilate your cervix. It also is said to help strengthen skin and nerves therefore can reduce your chances of tearing during labor. Either way- it is benefiting me if it’s not helping open up my cervix. 

I started drinking red raspberry leaf tea. That can start contractions. Pineapples have enzymes that can stimulate contractions as well. I ate 2 pineapples in 2 days… nothing, LOL. I have also tried nipple stimulation with my electric pump; also it was good for me to see how to use that thing. I read the best way is to do each breast separately for 15 minutes alternating for at least an hour. I have been walking, and going up and down the stairs and doing squats. Also intimacy is supposed to help soften the cervix and bring contractions. Acupressure points… the ones I have read about and tried are the ones on your lower back, inner & outer ankle and the webbed area between the thumb and index finger. I’ve been massaging those a lot too. I think that pretty much sums it up. There are other things that have been recommended to me like black and blue cohosh (still not sure what that is) and castor oil. But for now I am just going to stick with these, and see. Regardless if it doesn’t bring on labor before my due date maybe it will prepare my body at least and make sure I don’t go passed it. I can hope, right?

I’ve also been having I THINK some contractions here and there. The funniest thing is I’ve had them before I actively started doing any of this stuff aside from the evening primrose oil.

I actually had 3 really intense pains one right after  the day before we moved. And had  a few during that night that I remember waking up to but being able to fall asleep, as well as a couple more the morning we moved and the night at our first apartment.  Very weird.

I’ve also been feeling very crampy… as if I am getting my period. As well as a lot of pressure down there giving off into my lady parts, lower back and hips. My midwife said that is what labor should feel like? I mean at this point nothing regular is really going on… so I am not getting too excited… but starting to think maybe my body is slowly preparing and hopefully the day to have baby is drawing closer.

A couple things I forgot to mention from the previous weeks. Baby is moving alright… but he is also snapping. Call me crazy but other mamas  from a mommy group on facebook I posted on have heard this too- so I am NOT crazy :) Like with certain movements I legit hear a snapping/cracking noise within my belly. I’ve read up about this apparently it literally could be baby’s bones just cracking with his movements. That is SO bizarre. And has become such a usual thing now, so so weird!

Also, aside all my other issues the doctor’s have found me GBS positive (the strep B test.) So, yet another thing added to my list of health issues. I know they say it is no problem, they just give you antibiotics during labor… just sucks that everything seems to be going wrong, and yet another thing to worry about.

I think this pretty much sums it up, I won’t even try to promise myself or anyone else to try to be on time with my 38^th week since I am 38 weeks tomorrow but  I will try my best. You would think with me not really working much anymore (since I am in so much pain- to be discussed in my next update) I would have more time to be on top of things. Nope.

I also want to do a post with the baby room and share our recent ultrasound pictures too. My Youtube channel has been on hold because I had some technical difficulties but that is being worked on right now and hopefully I can start posting more videos on there too. Anyway, until next time! Hopefully it will be sooner than later!

Belly Shot: 37 Weeks!

I'm on a roll today! 2 Posts in a day! And it's only Tuesday. :) Hopefully if I plan it out well I will get my weekly update in tomorrow as well, being only 2 days late as opposed to how I have been lately!

Anyway, 37 weeks! I am considered full term today! Woohoo! Getting very very impatient!!!

 Don't mind my non existent butt again! LOL Trying to tell if belly has dropped a little or not? I am not even sure yet, all I know is I WANT BABY HERE ALREADY! Ahhh! :)

Baby Blanket Update: The Finished Product!

This is a very long overdue post! :)

Not only have I been procrastinating with simply finishing 1.5 sides of the blanket border for forever long, but when I finally did finish it I didn't even post it! I'm a loser.

Anyway, I think a week before we moved is when I decided to finish the 10 mins of crochet work left on the blanket that I have been putting off for about 2 months. I pushed myself to finish it because I did baby's laundry before we moved and wanted to wash the blanket with all the laundry.

So it is officially done, all nice and clean and dry smelling like baby detergent all ready to cuddle up and warm our little son for eternity.

I made it big for a reason. It can fold up and swaddle a baby the way it is but it can also be used when he gets better, which I love :)

Anyway, here it is!

This is the blanket folded in half on the changing table.

& this is just a closer look at the border :)

I will have to make a separate post one of these days with pics of the baby room. Now that we are officially moved in, things are falling into place and the baby room looks like a baby room :)

Anyway, here is the blanket I've been working on since we found out it was a boy! I am so excited to be done with it and to have our baby boy eternally put this thing to use now :)

34, 35 & 36 Week Update: Leg Cramp from Hell, Baby Shower, Shingles, Moving, & Emotional

My goodness… how embarrassing…. 3 weeks behind. And it’s basically the end of my 36th week so it’s almost like I am late with this week’s post as well. Not my idea of being on top of things. But to cut me some slack there has definitely been a lot going on that has been keeping me from being able to post my weekly posts.



I probably don’t remember much that happened in my 34th week, but will do my best to kind of sum things up and give a life update in general.

One thing I remember I missed in my last post that probably happened in my 32nd or 33rd week, was my leg cramp that I had. I’ve mentioned the few leg cramps I have had here and there, and most of them would happen at night when I would be sleeping, but not something that would happen on a day to day basis or any more often than that, and hence never worried much about it. Although, the pain was very excruciating, and being the panicky person I am I was always paranoid of having a leg cramp at the wrong time…. Like when driving. Well, that finally happened, my biggest paranoia fear came true. But nonetheless, I have to say I was lucky and it could have been much worse that is for sure.



I had a leg cramp while pulling into our parking space behind our apartment complex. Luckily our car faces this uphill grassy foresty thing, so I didn’t crash into a person or car- THANK GOD! As I was pulling in it hit me, and of course not really having control over my leg or of anything for that matter, I tried to respond quickly by pressing the breaks as hard as I could with the pain going on in my leg. And instead of breaking as hard as I could I of course pressed the gas as hard as I can, and immediately removed my foot once I realized it was the gas. Anyway, that made the car go slightly uphill and into the forest kind of. Like I said, it’s uphill, so I don’t think I could have gone far if I continued to press the gas pedal. Nonetheless, there were trees and branches that I ran into. At first I just kind of sat there for a few seconds in panic mode trying to comprehend what the heck just happened. Then I backed up and put the car in the right position. I was very shaky and scared… I didn’t hurt myself, I was more scared than anything and concerned about the car really. I stepped out and looked at the car (mind you the front of the car is facing the forest so I couldn’t really see the complete front of the car) and looked around and seemed to just see a few white marks that weren’t really scratches from the branches, but just marks because I was able to remove them with my finger. I didn’t really run into anything other than a bush and a few branches so didn’t think anything of it- once again I was more scared than anything, I thought. In about an hour hubby and I had to go to church and when we go outside to the car, he pulls out and I see the true damage that was done to the car. Our front bumper was smashed. When I saw this I started balling my eyes. For several reasons… 1. How stupid was I to do something like that. 2. OMG, this is not some little thing it is going to cost a lot of money and we don’t have much to begin with! 3. Hubby is going to kill me. And to make things even more wonderful, the bumper was pushing into one of the wheels and when you would turn a certain way it would make a terrible screeching noise… so basically it was not safe to drive which meant I would not be able to work on top of losing money for fixing it. Great. Over a stupid leg cramp.



Anyway, not to mope in the past, but we asked around and were recommended this one guy who does really good body work on cars and for relatively cheap prices. We got everything fixed for $200. I mean… yeah it’s still a lot of money but it could have been a lot worse. A leg cramp that cost me $200- great!



As far as symptoms, I don’t really remember which ones where specific to each week so I will try to kind of just sum them up in general. Heartburn has been insane. Everything I eat and/or drink gives me horrible heartburn. Heartburn to the extent that if I am laying in bed and feel like I have to burp, I burp in hopes of getting some relief and actually throw up some of my food. Not a lot- a mouth full. Enough for me to hold my mouth closed, run to the bathroom and spit it out- ew, I know. And I am not even nauseous, just heart burn and acidy. Milk does not help me. I drink ginger ale- the fizziness seems to give me some relief and also tums. Tums help me every now and then as well.



My weight has been jumping… 2 weeks ago I was 173.6, last week I was 177.8, and yesterday I weighed myself being 174.6. So I am keeping the last weight to leave it at a happy medium. Scary how much heavier I am getting. I am getting to 180 pounds almost… and reaching an almost 40 pound gain not counting the 10 extra pounds I lost and gained back. Gah, scary.



Baby has been kicking like crazy. I have been feeling a lot of foot and knee and elbow movement. He is still head down, so that is good. He has been hiccupping a lot too. Definitely at least once a day, and more often about 3 times a day… such a silly feeling! He is definitely starting to have less and less room in there because sometime he just sticks out body parts and doesn’t even care anymore, lol. Like mom, sorry… but I just feel like sticking my butt out today. I am getting more and more impatient to meet this little person inside me :)



The heavier I get, the weirder it feels. Walking around feels very strange now. I feel like there is a bowling ball between my legs. Not even that, but kind of like a big poop down there weighing down on me, and with every step I take it pushes/presses down like a balloon filled with a lot of water weighing down and down…. As if it’s about to burst any moment. Very weird.



Anyway, back to life events. I had my baby shower about 1.5 weeks ago. It was nice, but have to say planning it was beyond stressful. And to make things even easier for us, the whole week before the forecast was wonderfully warm and sunny, and last minute they changed it to rain and it started to rain that morning. Yes, it was outside. And the tents we had in mind to borrow in case that happened were not in our reach that weekend. I panicked of course… fitting 40-60 people (that may have possibly come) in our friend’s house was not an option. So hubby and our friend Arseniy drove down to Wal-Mart and got a tarp thingy with ropes and other stuff for $240. Luckily we were able to return everything but the ropes… getting $220 back, so I was very relieved about that. But it was nice, and a part of me is glad it’s over :)



Before I get to the whole moving part, let me tell you about the best thing that has happened to me thus far (being highly sarcastic here!!!) I got the shingles! Between the baby shower and moving and stress about everything in general I guess it finally hit me. Honestly, I didn’t even know what the shingles were… so let me tell you how this even unraveled.



This happened 2 weeks from today… I noticed I had a little itch on my back. Didn’t think anything of it, I remember lying in bed before going to sleep and asking hubby to scratch a specific part on my back, that he seemed to feel there was a bite or 2 on my back. The next day it itched even more and I felt about 7 bites, and I was like okayyyy, so some sort of bug had a good meal on my back- wonderful! Saturday that area started to ache. So I figured it wasn’t a mosquito, must have been an ant or spider or something, because it was giving off to my muscles in a way. Saturday onto Sunday night is when the pain started to get pretty bad. I woke up at night from the pain and had to take Tylenol. Sunday, the day of my baby shower the pain was awful. It was giving off to my shoulder and neck and underarm and boob. I started thinking what the heck bit me that it’s giving me such pain… nerve pain! As if they bit me in some nerve or it was some sort of allergic reaction. Nonetheless, the pain was really bad and that is when I started taking the percocets that I had left over from my kidney infection in order to function and get through preparing and the actual shower.



During the shower, I showed a few of my friends my “ bites” and was wondering if maybe anyone had anything useful to say. And one of them did… saying it was shingles. I started googling it , and of course that is never truly useful :) At that point I haven’t really looked at my back since Friday, and noticed that it was definitely no longer “ bites” it was looking more and more like a rash. That night after the shower the pain hit its peak… and sadly 2 weeks later it is still the same. :/ I went to convenient care in Herkimer Bassett on Monday… which was probably the worst idea ever. It’s like urgent care except it is supposed to be more convenient in the way it’s not walk in you have to schedule an appointment. Which I totally did but still ended up waiting 2.5 hours there when I showed up which was ridiculous! Anyway, pregnant, hungry, thirsty, and in pain me ( my Tylenol wore off) had an emotional breakdown right there, and I finally got seen and diagnosed with shingles. The woman who came to look at me spent maybe about 2 minutes in the room with me. Quickly looked at my back and said “Yup, It’s shingles!” Seriously? I waited 2.5 hours for her to just look at me for 5 seconds to say that??? And when I was explaining to her the extent of the pain and where it was reaching out to (my knee and my face) she told me it was not possible, as if I am making it up. The point is my experience wasn’t the best. They gave me antiviral meds and refused to give me any other pain meds or recommendations or advice on what to do next. At that point I was in so much pain and so upset that I went home and that was that.



The next day hubby had a checkup appointment with our primary care provider and I decided to tag along to see if he could take a look at me and see what he would say. He was such a help. He gave me 2 creams and pain meds and at least explained and took his time to look at me and give me advice on what to do. Anyway, not to turn this whole post about the shingles, but it’s been a little over 2 weeks now, and the rash is almost gone… but the pain is still there. I am trying to take less pain meds or try to take just the Tylenol instead of the Percocets and it’s been working lately. I’ve also been using Aveeno oatmeal bath. Pain is either getting less intense or I am more used to it… regardless it is still there but I am hoping it goes away soon.





Moving, I am not going to get super into that, but yes we moved. Maybe I will just save all the details for next week’s post since it technically happened this week for me to tell you about in the next post that I will try my best not to be late with. But yes, we moved on Memorial Day. I really like the new place but there is a lot of work to do! I am only interested in doing the baby room right now and nothing else. But I am glad I can finally do that at least as opposed to having all the baby stuff in our other room in our old apartment and not being able to do anything with it since we weren’t staying there.



As far as emotions, I feel like I started crying more. I am more sensitive and just things upset me more I guess. Which sucks, because I don’t want to be a downer. Lately I think what really has been making me even more upset is the shingles, because of the pain. I try so hard not to complain and deal with it, but this nonstop intense pain really gets to me. I don’t get a break at all, and I just break down and cry from the pain. Every time someone talks to me about their shingles or their experience with it and for how long they had the pain, I also start crying because I realize this thing is going to haunt me for life. I think just being in pain and miserable on top of everything else doesn’t really put you in the mood for things and just makes everything else seem worse around you making me even more upset. Which sucks, because I don’t like being like this. And knowing there is nothing I can really do about it makes me hopeless and even more upset.



But yeah, that is pretty much it. I am getting very exhausted but pushed myself to finish this update so I can post it tonight. So off to bed I go! Hopefully once the insanity of moving settles down I will get things under control again and be on time, because this is just ridiculous being late this much. Ugh. Anyway, goodnight y’all!

Belly Shot: 36 Weeks!

Lateeeee, but not forgotten!

To be technical this is a 36w 4 day belly shot.  So kinda  in the middle, but that's okay. My big long update for the past several weeks is in the process. Almost done, hoping to maybe post it up today. So I haven't completely forgotten about this blog... just a lot going on.


Anywho... here is the belly shot!

For some odd reason it looks like I have a black eye kinda. I don't know why... my eyes were itching earlier, maybe that's why?

And a bare belly shot as an extra ;) 

Belly Shot: 35 Weeks!

I know I have skipped a week of updating and seems like the way things are going I may not be able to get to this week either. But a lot has been going on, that I just haven't been able to keep up.

The least I can do is still maintain my belly shots. With preparation for the shower, the actual shower, me sick with the SHINGLES- yes, very awful and us moving this coming weekend I just haven't been able to keep up with life in general.

Anyway, whenever this update will happen, because at this point I am not even sure myself, everything will be explained and updated unless pregnancy brain hits me and I forget absolutely everything.

But for now here is fat, sick me at 35 weeks.

5 weeks to go... in hopes of possibly happening sooner! Probably won't happen, but I can hope right?
( soon as in after we move, we move then baby can come!)

Belly Shot: 34 Weeks!

I'm on time today!!! With my belly shot at least :)

This dress is slightly small on me in the chest area but that is okay ;)

Anyway, here I am with 6 weeks to go!!!

Gahhhhhhh getting so impatient!!!!!

32 & 33 Week Update: My Health, Baby is Head Down, Thoughts and Feelings, and Baby Shower Preparations

Very long overdue post needed. I know, this has been the most I have ever been late.  And calling this a 32 and 33 week post is probably inaccurate since I don’t remember anything from 32 weeks, although remember having the feeling of having so much to share. So much for pregnancy brain, that has definitely been kicking in and doing lots.

So what the heck has been going on in the past 2 weeks?  A lot!  My appointments have now started to be every two weeks. My next one is this Friday actually, making me remember that at my last appointment I saw Dr. Gildenblatt and I asked him to feel baby and tell me if he can tell what position he is in- and baby is head down! So that was one of the exciting things from 32 weeks I could probably remember. So that was nice to know, and gave a piece of mind. Although I heard baby can still change position if you have enough fluid in there and there is still room. So just to be safe I will ask again on Friday when I have my next appointment.

The past 2 weeks have been a little tough. Overall, the last 6 weeks my body has just not had a break at all. You guys all know how often I get sick with me complaining about it every time. And every time I say “I’m sick” it sounds like old news now because it happens so much. Especially in the last 6-7 weeks I have been sick 3 times already and am on my 3^rd course of antibiotics right now- which I HATE!

I mean, I am not a big natural person, I believe it is the best thing, but I don’t avoid medicine if I can have it. But I HATE having to take antibiotics so much! Especially being pregnant. I know they tell me it is safe and what not but still does not make me happy. The first (recent) time I got sick it started with the typical double ear infection and sinus infection. I always try to wait it out for a little, hoping it is just congestion or a cold that will go away, but it never is and only gets worse. So after several days of getting worse I ended up going to the doctor’s, got amoxicillin, and that did not help. I actually didn’t see my primary care provider because he was not in the Ilion office that day and I remember feeling extremely miserable and not wanting to make a trip to New Hartford and they said I would be able to see someone here otherwise. This was some nurse practitioner lady who obviously knew nothing about me. She gives me these antibiotics and I ask her  ( knowing from previous experience of them upsetting my tummy, giving me yeast infections and sometimes just not being strong enough to kill the infection) if there is any other antibiotic she can give me and she  just said “ Amoxicillin is the ONLY antibiotic safe during pregnancy”- which is total BS. But I was sick and miserable and was not in the mood to argue with her. Whatever, I took them, they started to make me feel *slightly* better but not completely and the day after I finished them I started to feel worse- not to mention I got that nasty yeast infection, that I believe I mentioned in my previous posts.

After JUST finishing antibiotics I was not planning on running to the doctor’s right away, that was beyond ridiculous to me. I ended up having a midwife appointment mid week and asked her opinion and she told me if I don’t get better I should go see my primary care provider again. I waited a week, and on top of my ears and sinuses getting worse, I developed bronchitis. It was SO painful, and non bearable. I couldn’t breathe and sounded like a man. I had pneumonia once and it was pretty much feeling the same and I was terrified of getting pneumonia while pregnant. So we went to urgent care and I got Azithromycin. That cleared everything up in a matter of days and I was feeling great. But of course that can’t last long, can it? About 3 weeks later I get sick again! This happened last week; I developed the typical sinus and double ear infection again. I am seriously so over this already. Once again I waited it out and that didn’t help and headed to my doctor on Monday.  I made the trip to New Hartford this time because I wanted to see my doctor and wanted to ask him for advice. I mean, this whole season I have had these infections 8 times at least for sure if not more. It’s ridiculous- nonstop! This is not normal! I asked him if there were any procedures that could be done to avoid getting them so much (like sinus surgery or getting your ears cleaned with tubes or whatever.) He says to get the ears cleaned you have to have a middle ear infection? I don’t remember if it was inner or middle, but either way I don’t have middle I have inner which that procedure is not meant for. As far as a sinus procedure he thinks that may be something to consider but there are other steps to take first.

He explained to me he thinks the reason that I have both of these infections so often is because I have really bad allergies. Which, I do… I mean they haven’t been as bad as I remember them being in general, but I do have allergies. (Although being sick so much I haven’t been able to even observe my own allergies since I am sick all the time.) He says right now I am pregnant and there isn’t much to do. But he truly believes the causes of my infections are these allergies. So, what do I have to do?  Right now kill the infections with antibiotics AGAIN (which I am working on.) And to try to keep my allergies under control. Right now since I am pregnant, I can’t really do that, other than do nasal/saline rinses. After I have the baby he is recommending me to get weekly allergy shots. As awful as that sounds, this is actually a 2^nd time a doctor is recommending this to me.

About 5 years ago I think, I was really sick. Kind of the way I am sick this year. My mom would never take me to the doctor. The 4-5 years we lived here (at that time)  she never once took me to see a doctor here. She finally took me to a doctor after me having a sinus and double ear infection for 8 weeks. And this was the first time I saw my pediatrician at the time. I took the opportunity and told him about EVERYTHING that was bothering me, not knowing when I will see a doctor again, lol. When I lived with my parents my allergies were the worst they have ever been. All year round. After explaining everything to him in detail he offered the shots too. Which my mom without thought said no. I think one of the big reasons (as most of her reasons were to not even take me to the doctor’s in the first place) was money. Money for the visits, money for the shots, money for the meds. Also I think the idea of getting a weekly shot just was bizarre to her.

Anyway, going back to now time. My doctor- Dr. Syed strongly recommends them to me. I mean, I think I can say I have had allergies really badly now for about 10 years. And he says because I have allergies all the time, they irritate my sinuses and clog everything up creating constant ear and sinus infections. So if we can get that under control that should help with the infection issue. He says that is the first thing to try. If for whatever reason that does not help, that is when they would refer me to an ENT specialist who would do further analysis on my sinuses and do all the needed scans and what not to see if there is something else causing the issue. And I guess in that case if they do end up finding some growth or something else that is when a sinus surgery would be something to consider. Regardless, right now I just have to rinse, after I have the baby I guess the experimentation will start. So this kind of explains why I am so sick all the time on top of my immune system just sucking to begin with.

Now, that the health part is covered let me tell you about what has been going on in the past 2 weeks in general. Well, as you all know we are moving May 27 which is in about 2.5 weeks. Wonderful. Since our house is barely packed. We have a few boxes of books but that is it! Nothing else is done. Oh boy. Also it was our Easter this past weekend. A lot of preparation was put into that preparing the Kulichi, Cheese Pascha, eggs and what not.

I have to say this year’s Easter service was probably one of the most difficult ones I had in a very long time. I feel like such a baby and like I am complaining too much… but I can’t help it… I feel very weak saying all this. I tried to sleep before the service but that was a fail. And not only because I am pregnant and heavy and can’t stand for long periods of time, but I also was SO miserably sick. People thought I was crying I think at one point because I looked so out of it. But I cheated… I was at the service for 1.5 hours, and was literally just passing out and feeling like death. I told hubby I was going to rest in the car and to get me when it was Veruyu, and closer to Communion. That gave me about 1.5 hours of rest in the cold car, lol. We came home around 5 am and passed out, and the  next day  I continued to feel like death.  The weather was so nice and I felt horrible –feeling horrible. I didn’t want my stupid sickness getting in the way of enjoying Pascha!

Anyway, I look at other pregnant girls and feel so weak. They are able to stand for long periods of time; they don’t seem to have a hard time carrying the extra weight, moving around like they don’t even have a belly- staying up all night is a breeze. And then there is me who seems to complain about everything. I really don’t like complaining, I love the fact that I am pregnant, I love the fact that there is a baby inside me growing, our little miracle that we waited for and wanted so much. And when I talk about the things that bother me, I am in no way trying to put down pregnancy or try make it seem like this horrible thing. I love it, I love feeling baby move. I love hearing the heartbeat, I love seeing ultrasounds, and knowing every day we are getting closer to meeting him. It just can be… difficult sometimes. And I don’t know if I am just weak to begin with, that it is harder for me… I don’t want people thinking I am just trying to make a big deal out of nothing and I am just trying to be a drama queen or whatever. I don’t know… just looking at other pregnant girls makes me seem not strong at all and like it really isn’t a big deal and I am just making it out to be.

I try to calm myself down by trying to tell myself that pregnancy is different for every person, and everyone handles it differently. I sometimes even feel slightly ashamed to honestly answer the question of how I am when people ask. I feel like they are just so quick to judge my answer or brush it off or look at me as if I am overreacting.  So I apologize to anyone I have annoyed with my constant complains, I guess. I really don’t enjoy being sick and miserable all the time. I wish I could be full of energy and jumpy and for everything to be smooth, to enjoy pregnancy to the fullest- that is truly what I want, I hope people know that. And as far as for my own sake and sanity, I just have to keep telling myself that other women are stronger and can just handle certain things (like pregnancy) better and I just have to do the best I can and leave it at that.

Alright enough of this sad emotional stuff… moving on to happy thoughts! BABY SHOWER! That was next on the list of things happening. Easter, Baby Shower, Moving, DUEDATE!  First one down, 3 more to go ;) 10 days left and I am probably annoying the HECK out of everyone on facebook but trying to get a guest count is getting a little bit difficult. I feel like we are just going to have to wing it, and hopefully have enough food and drinks for everyone who does show! I mean, we’ll see! But I’ve been prepping for that by hunting everyone down handing out invites, stalking everyone :) All the fun stuff! And we were trying to figure out a sitting issue but luckily our church is letting us borrow some of their long benches! So that is a big weight off our shoulders and we won’t have to worry about that. I just hope it doesn’t rain, but I think the Monastery has those tent things too in case the forecast decides to be fun that day. And hopefully they won’t mind us borrowing that too! After this weekend I am really hoping to get a better understanding of how many people are coming to then go shopping for utensils and food and drinks and stuff. Exciting stuff going on!

I still haven’t shared my maternity photos on here but that is on the to-do list as well as this week’s belly shot! Which I already posted:)  Late and behind but with so much happening I think it is understandable!

Oh, I of course I didn’t weigh myself last week, but I weighed myself yesterday and I am  167.6 pounds!

Here is the infamous chart of weight gain!

10/25/12: 5w 140 lbs

11/5/12: 7 w 135 lbs(5 lbs loss)

11/12/12: 8 w 133.8 lbs(6.2 lbs total loss, 1.2 weekly loss)

11/26/12: 10 w 133 lbs( 7 lbs total loss, .8 bi-weekly loss)

12/17/12: 13 w 131 lbs( 9 lbs total loss, 2 pounds tri-weekly loss)

01/14/13: 17 w 133.5 lbs(6.5 lbs total loss, 2.5 lbs four-week gain)

01/28/13: 19 w 135.8 lbs(4.2lbs loss, 2.3lbs bi-weekly gain, 4.8lbs total gain)

02/04/13: 20 w 136.5 lbs (3.5 lbs loss, 1.3 lbs weekly gain, 5.5 lbs total gain)

02/11/13 :21 w 137.2 lbs ( 2.8 lbs loss, .7lbs weekly gain, 6.2 lbs total gain)

02/18/13: 22 w 139.4 lbs ( .6 lbs loss, 2.2 lbs weekly gain, 8.4 lbs total gain)

02/25/13: 23 w 141.0 lbs ( 1 lbs gain pre-pregnancy weight gain, 1.6 weekly gain, 10 lbs total gain)

03/04/13 : 24 w 147 lbs ( 7 lbs gain pre-pregnancy weight gain 6 lbs weekly gain, 16 lbs total gain)

03/11/13: 25 w  147.8 lbs ( 7.8 pre-pregnancy weight gain, .8 lbs weekly gain, 16.8 lbs total gain)

03/18/13: 26 w 150 lbs (10 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, 2.2 lbs weekly gain, 19 lbs total gain)

03/25/13: 27 w 152.4 lbs (12.4 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, 2.4 lbs weekly gain, 21.4 lbs total gain)

04/01/13: 28 w 156.2 lbs (16.2 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, 3.8 lbs weekly gain, 25.2 lbs total gain)

04/08/13: 29 w 159.4 lbs (19.4 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, 3.2 lbs weekly gain, 28.4 lbs total gain)

04/15/13: 30 w 159.6 lbs (19.6 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, .2 lbs weekly gain, 28.6 lbs total gain)

04/22/13: 31 w 163.5 lbs ( 23.5 lbs pre-pregnancy weight gain, 3.9 lbs weekly gain, 32.5 lbs total gain)

05/05/13: 33 w 167.6 lbs ( 27.6 lbs pre-pregnancy weigh gain, 4.1 lbs bi-weekly gain,  36.6 lbs total gain)

Anyway, that sums up this post. Until next time! At this point I shall not make any promises when that will be since life is going to be hectic for the next few weeks!

Belly Shot: 33 Weeks!

33 weeks!

Messy hair- don't care.  Since we didn't take any pictures from Easter in my Easter dress, I decided to wear it for my 33 week shot!

That is all.

My blog post is done, just needs to be edited, and right now I am just tired and not in the mood to do that. So it will be super duper late tomorrow I guess.